One of the major topics up for discussion when I was leading a youth group was, “How do I find the one” or “How will I know”. Sometimes these were asked out of curiosity but for the majority, it was asked out of fear. They didn’t want to be single for the test of their life, with 18 cats, drinking Mountain Dew and eating Ramen noodle and Doritos sandwiches. That imagery alone is capable of spurring a Christian to register for a ChristianMingle account and deal with the jokes later.
But I have to ask: why is singleness so bad?
I know, it’s easy for me to say that because I’m married. But I wasn’t always married before 2012 and there was a time I was single. And I was okay with that.
I was surrounded by some amazing brothers in Christ who spent a lot of their time investing in my life and mentoring me. I’ll never forget one night at a Bible Study where I was lamenting my signing up for a ChristianMingle because I couldn’t find the right girl. After the jokes subsided, one of my mentors said to me:
“Stop looking. Then you’ll find her.”
Sounds wise, right? Sounds like the statement has some deep Biblical truths buried in it, right? I didn’t think so at the time.
But it’s true.
After I stopped looking, I focused on ministry. I helped out with youth and even got to help start a College Ministry at my church. And guess what? I was single when I got to do that.
I think single Christians get this weird stigma placed on them, like we see them as weird as home-schoolers. But like home-schoolers, single Christians, like yourself, have amazing potential for ministry and can get stuff done, when married folks like myself can’t.
Singles can go on summer-long mission trips and share the Gospel with people groups. I could probably do a week. Singles are mobile. I’m pretty much like an iMac; stationary.
My point is, if you’re single in seminary, you are a bombshell that is going to accomplish a lot. If the mere thought of being single for the rest of your life stresses you out, I can guarantee you’re not being called to singleness. I can’t guarantee when or where you’ll find the right person though. You don’t need to date every pretty girl or Ryan Gosling look-alike on campus to find them either. (My wife snagged the only Ryan Gosling look-alike on campus anyway). (That’s what my grandma tells me).
I can only guarantee that if you focus on God, doing ministry left and right like a boss, you’ll get sidewinded.
And it will be the most amazing blessing of your life when you meet him/her.