I’ve never been the victim of some random stranger liking my selfies on Instagram but I’d imagine it’s creepy. It’s the equivalent of a stranger walking up to you in public and saying, “I like your face”. I imagine them having some kind of weird grin too just to up the creepy.
Recently, my wife was the victim of such a creeper on Instagram. The guy went pretty far back in her photos and liked some old photos suggesting he looked through all of her photos. After the 7th “heart”, I was thinking this guy must have “turnt up” his “swag” on the “double-tap” to show her he was interested. Hilariously enough, my wife saw him, gagged as if she was about to throw up, blocked/reported him and changed her account to private.
It got me thinking about how there’s a lot of weirdos on the internet. I know we used to say that a lot back when the internet was the biggest thing since sliced bread but we don’t think too much about it. A lot of people don’t think about their actions or words before they put it on the internet. And they’re the most awkward ones. Without a filter, you see every part of their life, or hear every thought and indulgence. Again, it’s like walking into downtown Dallas and yelling what you’re thinking. And guys that do it look incredibly stupid.
Guys, let me give you some advice: throwing hearts on a girl’s Instagram isn’t cute and won’t get you a date. This may come as a shock to you but it’s actually really creepy. It’s the equivalent of walking up to her window at night, double-tapping on the glass and saying, “Hey girl! I like that face! You want to grab some coffee sometime?!”
See? Not as appealing is it? So do your best to control yourself long enough to actually strike up a conversation first, get to know her a little before you start double-tapping her selfies in hopes for a heart back because you won’t get one.
But don’t strike up a conversation with my wife. She’s off-limits and unless you want to meet the Hulk in person, don’t even look her way.
Maybe this is a good time to delete my Instagram account anyway. All that’s on there is selfies, both nude and clothed. Or a cornucopia of food photos.
Y’all need Jesus.